After Snowscape v2
by IAmTheHeadedHorselessMan
Summary: New and improved version of my "After Snowscape" fan fic. This is the one I'll be updating until I come up with a final version. Everything I post is subject to change.
1. Chapter 1

PROLOUGE

[Lee]

"Lee, Wilf. He's _awake._" "Wassat?" Wilf says, "He's awake. Todd. He's back." I know she can't hear my noise over comm, but still I send it, I send my genuine happiness over to her, or I try. I say, "that's amazing!" and I mean it. Because I'm happy that she's happy. I guess that's what true love is, isn't it? "Ya," Wilf says. Seemingly in reply to my comment to Viola, but he's looking at me, and I can tell he's likely referring to my noise a second ago. Tears streaming, Viola hangs up.

1 hour earlier

[Todd]

I hear the voice again. But it isn't in my head. This time, it's thru my ears. "_Our military man, Davy Prentiss,_" it says,_ "Says we shouldn't look for scapegoats for a simple crop failure._" I think it's her, is it? Is it you, Viola? _Is_ it? "_But that's you waking up again in the next room._" And I open my eyes. "_How funny that it's…"_ and the voice stops, because it's Viola.

(It's _her_)

And I sit up. All she can say is, "You're awake Todd, you're back." Tears are coming from her eyes, and they're coming from mine, and I run over to her and fall into each other. Then I realize. I'm shirtless. My noise goes pink with embarrassment. I back away immediately… "It's okay," she says. I stand back and stare. I'm drawing a blank. Then I realize what this is. It's the Pathway's End; the Spackle healers are surrounding the tent, and the stone tablet I was rested on. Next comes the realizashun of why I was here. I look down at my bare chest. I feel a small indentashun and a scar where the stream of acid hit. Then I remember it all. The war. And I back away a bit more and I curl up, trying to contain it all… **I AM THE CIR…** But I stop mid thought, cuz _he _taught it too me, didn't he. It's the thing that made my noise quiet, and Viola hated me for it.

[Viola]

He's on the floor, curled up in a ball, and he's thinking about the Mayor, the war, and… and how I hated him for his noise, when he silenced it.

(Todd, oh, Todd.)

(What have I done?)

I just walk up to him and sit down; because that's all I can do. Haven's being re built around us, literally. The new settlers arrived in late winter, and have been helping us rebuild. 1017's arm got to the point where eventually _had_ to take the cure, so he didn't die. But he held off 'till the last possible second. That was the point when I came my closest to forgiving him for what he's done. Anyway. Bradley's pretty much replaced Mistress Lawson as the head of the _planet,_ really. Wilf and Lee still play a major role. They are off on an exploring expedition, though. Ben still visit's here everyday. Right now, he's gone to lunch. Me, I barley ever eat, and the last time I was outside, the snow was just starting to melt. So I missed my first ever snow fall. My first Christmas on this planet even. Bradley brings me news when there is any.

[Todd]

She just sits there, on the dirt floor, thinking. I don't know about what, but thinking. Then we hear noise outside, not Spackle noise, but someone else… It's quiet, but I can hear it. Viola looks up at the tent entrance. Then Bradley bursts in. First, he looks over at the chair that Viola must have sat in when I woke up, and the stone slab I was lying on. When he doesn't see us, his noise get's worried, but he hears me and immediately looks over to the dark corner we occupy. And he says "Todd," in a way that's perpleksed and happy at the same time. "Viola," he manages, "are you guys okay?" "Yes, he just woke up," Viola sobs. "Okay. I'll let you guys be…" "No, just what is it?" "News from the exploration party." Viola stops tearing and looks up. I don't. "Five dead. Lee and Wilf are okay, barley. They're heading back now." My neck snaps up immediately. "Exploration party?" I'm puzzled. Bradley can see it in my noise. "After the settlers arrived and helped start rebuilding, we sent parties north and south of this forsaken River to the poles of the planet. 's a shame you people never expanded beyond it." He chuckles. "You've missed a lot in 5 months, son." "5 months!"

(Oh, Viola)

(Viola)

_Oh, don't deceive me_

_Oh, never leave me_

I left you for a while, Viola. And this is what I get.

Now

[Todd]

Bradley leaves, but not before he manages to ignore a "Wait!" from Viola. I guess he wants to leave us alone. "His noise is a lot quieter," I say. Viola nods. "He's been practicing. I need too comm Lee. Make sure he's okay." Viola wipes the last of the tears from her eyes and walks outside. "Wait a sec, I'll be back." She opens the flap of the tent, and the sun pierces my eyes. But then the flap closes and it's gone. _She's _gone. But she'll be back.

**I ain't never leaving you Todd Hewitt, not even in my head.**

She comes back in, the sun falling on my face again. Her's is red and her eyes are watery once again. She just looks at me and says, "Oh, Todd, you've missed a lot." I just fall into her arms, right as Ben rushes in. **_Todd, oh Todd!_** He sends it right to my head. **_Ben!_** I send back. Cuz I can do that now can't I? I don't think Viola can hear us. She looks confused; and I swear, just for a moment, I can hear it, just a faint hum coming from her direction. I guess Spackle noise is like that. I'm part of the 'Land' now, I think. But being surrounded by that blackness all the time, that nothingness, just an occasional memory or voice, I think I can turn it off, just focus on the normal noise, have to hear less chaos. In his first spoken words to me since I was shot… never mind. Well, Ben just says "With practice, yes." Viola just stands there, clueless. We're hugging by now, me and Ben, but we let go.

All three of us walk outside into the spring –

(Is it spring? Or summer?)

(Shut up)

Whatever.

We step out into the sun. "Summer. Early summer," Viola answers "Hey! Quit reading…" then I realize I don't mind. Anyway, She gives me a shirt. I turn away and put it on. My noise is pink again. I finish up, and look around. I don't even rekognize the place we're in. I think we might be on top of the notched hill, by the old Spackle camp. But it's hard to tell. "I know, the settlers have made a good job of helping us rebuild. They've been here for about four months now, since almost the end of winter." Ben informs me. "What used to be Haven is lake now," he says. "The falls?" I question.

He just sends me a memory back, the one of the falls. He was hopelessly chasing after the mayor and I in the scout ship when the Spackle released the falls. I just look into him and see it, all the pain. And because he was part of the land at the time, I hear all the pain, the weight of the decision that the Spackle had to make, to destroy the peace, and then the death of the soldiers. Just a wall of water rushing by and slamming into them and then reaching the tow, smashing their families. I try to block it off, but I can't, so I let the thought pass.

Ben decides to leave us, and goes off to a thing He's calling a "**Surprise**." Viola says she knows what it is, but won't tell me. I almost curse he lack of noise, but I guess I just stop, and we get a horse each, and we ride thru town to a little tent by what looks to be the new town square. We tie our new horses up by a trough out in the front. Then I realize. "What happened to…" But I don't finish. "Acorn died of exhaustion, when we were chasing you, Todd. He actually sacrificed himself for you." My noise is blue for a second. I'm remembering more than I want to. "I know, Todd. It's okay." We step inside.

It's quite large, the tent. Three beds, a little cooker in the center, and a cloth divider, to change behind, I suppose. "Ben sleeps here," she says, "He saved the two beds for us. He had every confidence that you'd wake up. And you did." She just runs over and hugs me, and I hug her back. She drops her bag with both her stuff and mine on the ground. We just stand there for a while. I look down at her bag, eventually, and I see my ma's book. The little blood on the cover, bordering the slit, still dried and dark dark red. "I think it's time you learned to read, Todd." And for the first time, I don't really mind.

[Viola]

I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to teach Todd to read, but I think that having noise would make it easier. I could show him the letters as I said them, but instead, I write the things he doesn't understand on the dirt floor. In spite of it all, Todd is learning surprisingly fast. By the time Ben bursts in at dinnertime, his noise blasting **Surprise** and **Almost finished **and **So proud of you both**, Todd's managed to read me the first few pages of the journal, almost flawlessly.

We sit down by the cooker, and Ben cooks a can of baked beans. Then we go and sit down beside each other in out beds.

Ben announces that he'll be able to reveal the 'surprise' to Todd by the end of the month in a week or so. It's really a house for the three of us down by the lake and the old orchards with a view of the still standing steeple of the ruined cathedral, poking up just above the surface, like it's gasping for air. Like it's drowning and helpless and weak and yet somehow immortal, surviving through so much. Anyway.

That's another thing. We have months. And days. And years. The settlers set up a calendar when they set down, day 1 when the settlers arrived on this planet. Today's day 29 of month 6 of year 24. My birthday, in New World terms, is 15-13. Todd's is on 4-8. The day we met is 4-7, coming up fast.

As things settle down and we all finish eating, I decide to comm Lee again. He answers, Wilf beside him. I flinch, like every time I see him lately. It's just unnerving to see his now bloodstained 'blind-fold' covering where his eyes used to be… I also almost hate that I can't hear his noise over the comm. But only almost. I learned my lesson with Todd. "Hey, Vi," he chirps, "How's it going?" I say. "All's fine, you?" "It's been… better, with Todd back." Lee flinches away from the screen at this. "I'll be back tomorrow," he butts in, breaking an awkward silence. "I know." "if you need anything, just call me," he says. "I know, Lee. Thanks for that. Bye." "Bye, Hildy," Wilf squeezes in. Then, they hang up.

Todd's looking at me, all funny. His noise says **Lee and Viola. Vi? What's Vi? Does she… and not me? Viola?** "It's okay, Todd. Nothing's going on between us. We've just gotten closer, with you in a com

ma. He'd visit me in the tent sometimes. That's all." "Not that I'd mind if something _was_ happening. I understand," he says, but I can already tell that he's questioning the honesty in that. We just sit down and go to bed.

I wake up in the morning to a harsh _Hummmmmmmm_ in the fields behind me. It's the scout ship. They're back. Lee and Wilf and the rest of the exploration party.

They're back.

[Lee]

I use the crowd's noise to see. I've been practicing. It's like watching my life in third person. People have gathered around the scout ship. But I 'see' Viola, Ben, and Todd coming out of their tent near the landing zone. I run over. I Hug viola first, and she half-heartedly hugs me back. Then I go over and shake hands with Todd and Ben. I can tell that Todd is kind of mad or maybe jealous. But anyway… after I say hello to everyone, Viola comes up with a surprise. She says, "While you were gone, the settlers managed to build a surgery, and Dr. Gordon, one of the best caretaker doctors, is working on synthetic body parts for people who lost them in the war." "That's great," I say, though I don't know why she sounds so exited. But then, "And eyes, Lee, he's trying to build synthetic eyes for you." She chokes this up, tears sort of coming from her eyes. I'm seeing this through Todd and I can also see he's looking at Viola, thinking how beautiful she is. I notice I don't like this. They just seem to be ignoring my noise for now. That annoys me. "Gordon should have the results in the morning, weather the eyes'l work or not." People seem to be ignoring my noise lately, like I'm just a little kid. It's annoying. I can't stand it much longer. "Sorry, Lee," Viola says. At least a response. Oh, well.

I'm beginning to feel like Viola and Todd hate me for liking her. I'm not (or at least try not to be) aggressive about it, so I don't see why they're so hostile. Maybe I'm just paranoid. I've never liked someone like I like Viola before. Sure, I've had my petty little crushes. But never like this. They were never really love. This is, though, right? Is it? Again. I wouldn't know. I'm kind of new to this. No one ever liked me back.

[Viola]

He thinks I hate him. But I don't. He's just a boy with a crush. We can still be together, I just don't _love _him. I hope he understands that, but I can't tell him. He just has to _know._

[Todd]

Viola takes Lee with us away from all the madness of the scout ship. Bradley is going over newly drawn maps, reviewing them with Wilf and the remaining team, asking them about what happened. It should take a while, apparently. Good, I suppose. Viola takes us back to the tent. She helps Lee into Ben's cot near the center. We sit down beside him by the cooker and she continues to teach me to read. I think it's going well. I can read the first 5 pages of ma's journal. And tho I never knew her, I can almost feel her in the pages I read. Like she's standing behind me; and Viola's trying to teach me to write too. Kind of at the same time I read the words, I mash all my noise together in an infinite grey plane, and draw the letters on top. Viola says I have sloppy handwriting. She says it's kind of 'endeering,' whatever that means.

I've been experimenting with my noise since I've come back. My noise is so much more manipulate-able than it used to be. It's more controllable. I can think things, but not broadcast them entirely. Cloud them over. It's weird. I keep the Spackle part of my head noise out as much as I can. I don't understand it fully. I wonder if this is how the Mayor felt in his last days, heck, even hours. The sort of free-ness. You can do practically anything. Informayshum overload. That's what he was talking about. Maybe he couldn't turn any of it off. I think that's what happened.

All the while I can hear Lee trying to see things through a perspective other than mine, but he can't and he sees me looking at Viola and he's sad. More than sad. Empty. I know the feeling. Running away from everything I knew. Cillian. And Ben, too. For a moment, I can't pay attention to Viola's reading lesson. I just… I don't know. I feel empty too and I have to stop and stare into nothing. Lee Quickly empties his head, and Viola just sits there and stares at us both. She's thinking about her parents. I can tell. It's the same look she had on her face in the swamp, before she even ever spoke, when I found the wreckings of her ship and the bodies. I know the look. Dammit. How'd that happen so quick?

The room is filled with blue from me and Lee, being fought back by the nothingness that really ain't nothing at all from Viola and we stare at each other, me and her. Lee just sits there blank-faced. We can't speak, but we say it all through just looking. Lee can see through my eyes, so he gets the same look that I do, and we all fell better. Weird how you don't even need to speak or use noise to feel like that. "It's probably time for dinner by now," Viola breaks the silence half-heartedly. "I'll be going then," Lee says. He gets up. "No, Lee, stay." I'm surprised to realize it's coming from me. "Why, you guys obviously need some time together, Todd's just wo…" "No, Lee, believe me, we're fine," Viola interrupts, "I'll go get something from the temporary Mess hall." Viola leaves, the evening sun gleaming through the flap as she leaves, casting her shadow on the ground.


	2. Chapter 2

[Todd]

Lee just sighs as he sees things through my perspective. "You're lucky, you know – that she loves you." "Lee, I'm sorry," "Don't be. It's not your fault. She just loves you. I'm at least glad I can be close to her." An awkward silence follows. Our noises don't do much talking, just a weird mix of emoshuns, both seeming similar and yet different. His is more blue. Understandable. We just sit there, and Ben comes in. "Hello," he says, both to Lee and I. I look up. Lee stares, if you could call it that, at the floor. **Lee? **and **Where's Viola? **and **Todd** in his noise. "Viola went to get some food for us all," Lee sighs. "Are you eating with us tonight?" "Yessir. Todd said I should stay."

Viola comes back and we all eat. Dinner is unsurprisingly quiet, and Ben is questioning why in his noise. Dinner ends and Lee leaves to his tent, next door. They're temporary, while houses are being built. Ben says Viola will live with us, down by the orchards, with a view of the lake, the steeple of the old cathedral still barley breaking the surface.

"Actually, that's the surprise. I guess I couldn't hold it in much longer. I was never very good at keeping secrets." "Really? Ben," I ask, excitement swirling in my head, slowly drowning out the sadness that came before it. I get up and hug him. It'll be just the three of us. The two people I love the most on this planet. Then I think about Cillian again. I cloud that over with as much happiness as I can, and that seems to work. Viola gets up and joins the hug. We go to sleep and slowly the morning comes.

I wake up and everybody's already gone. I get changed and I take a granola bar from the ground by the cooker and finish it off, then I go outside. I find Viola and Lee and a strange man in a doctor's coat talking. Viola's face looks kind of sad, which makes me sad, too.

As I walk over I hear the man talking about "ocular implants" and a "negative match." The doctor leaves and Lee and Viola just stand there. Lee I think is using my eyes to see, and his head just stares forward. "Morning, Todd," Viola says with a fake smile. "Morning both of you," I say back. "We were just talking with Dr. Gordon about Lee's eye implants. They won't work. Negative match. The doctor says Lee's body will reject them. Sucks." "Oh. That's kinda sad, I guess." "Guys, I'm fine. Actually, I'm almost happy. I've gotten used to seeing like this, and I think the old way would just seem strange to me now," Lee says with confidence. It's the first time we've properly met besides last night. Weird that I've just noticed that.

Viola decides to take us down to the orchard. Our house looks almost done on the outside. It's a lot bigger than my old one in Prentisstown. Lee doesn't say anything, but I can tell he's disappointed that he won't live here. With Viola.

No one's here yet. There's scaffolding and construcshun equipment set up, but no one's working on it. "Ben's working on it with the help of some others. He's made some friends here already." I look at Viola. "Not surprised," I say.

After a quick look inside, we all three of us head back up the hill, Viola and I walking next to each other, just a space of millimeters between us. I make sure to keep an eye on Lee so he can see where he's going.

We pass Ben on the way up and exchange "'Morning"s. Viola and I go back up into the tent for another reading and writing lesson. Lee goes off to do whatever he does.

The next few days mostly pass like that. Viola finds things for us three to do in the mornings, then Lee goes off and Viola and I read and write or we just talk, mostly about all the new changes. It's good to know how well we've managed to rebuild. After. We have a calendar, which is weird. In Prentisstown, we always just counted days. I'm getting used to it tho. Tho? Though. I finish reading my ma's journal. It's chilling, if not… interesting to hear my ma's own words, and even though I never knew her, I feel like I do. I'm getting better at writing, too. And spelling.

[Viola]

Todd's really improving with his writing. He's smarter than his illiteracy made him seem: he's a quick learner. With practice, he could probably even beat my essay on the Ancient Victorian empire I wrote for Old World History in 5th grade. I chuckle a bit. "What're you laughing about?" Todd asks playfully. "Nothing, just remembering something I wrote back on the settler ships." "Oh." I stare down at Todd's feet, and say the first thing that comes to mind.

"You know, we met one year ago tomorrow." "Really?" "Ya. You're birthday's coming up in a month. That was fast." I sigh. "Wow. Vi–" but he stops and his noise swells. It just fills with memories of us running away together, memories of us, just 5 and a half moths ago, in the tent, just after Ben came back, after Todd saved the Mayor, and I kissed him. He cuts it off there, but the same thoughts he thought then are coming back. He stares at me, but as soon as I meet his eye, he turns away. He's embarrassed, I can tell, but he's not shameful. I lean close to him and I just touch him on his neck, and he looks at me again and touches me back, on the shoulder, and runs his hand down my arm, brushing past my band, which stings a little in response, and he comes down to my hand and closes his around it. I close it back.

We walk outside. It's evening already. The sun is low in the sky and cast our long shadow as we look for Ben. Or _I_ look for Ben. He's become a father figure to me, I guess, even though I've never really given any thought to it. I always go and talk to him when I have nothing else to do. Or maybe when I feel awkward.

Whatever.

I lead Todd down to the orchards, where Ben probably still is, even though everybody else has already left the house. He's there. Wilf, too. The house is almost done; it looks like work is already being done on the inside. "Howdy, Hildy, Ben." Of course Wilf means Todd, but Ben's always been confused by the name, and so his neck snaps towards him. Todd is the first to reply. "Hi Wilf and Ben." "Evening," comes Ben's reply.

"The house looks almost done," I nod towards the entranceway. "Yeah, we just have to install the windows, flooring …a-and the kitchen sink," Ben says. I laugh at his joke, but Todd doesn't, his noise confused and slightly frustrated. It's kind of cute. I blush a little. "It's an old joke," I explain. "Ya, I'm sure it is," Todd mutters, but his noise says it loud. "Y'all should be able to move in in a couppla day' time," Wilf interrupts. **Move in**, Todd says in his noise. **Couppla days** and** Viola and** **Ben** on an infinite spiraling loop.


	3. Chapter 3

[Viola]

We all head back up the Hill and Wilf joins us for Dinner. Jane's off doing something else, apparently, so Ben offered for him to stay. Dinner finishes and Ben leaves with Wilf for an evening of drinking. Which leaves Todd and I alone, finally, some real alone time. I don't really know what to do, and neither does he.

So we just sit there, a no-man's land of about a centimeter separating us. I want to close the space, and so does Todd, but neither of us do, for some reason. The room is filled with our awkwardness, like we were a pair of sixth graders with a mutual crush. Then I say "Goodnight, Todd." "'Night," comes his knee-jerk reply. I turn off the oil lamp and I slip into dreamy blackness even before Todd manages to fall asleep himself.

[Todd]

I wake up early in the morning, to find Viola lying in the bed across from me, Ben in the next one over. I sneak out, trying to let as little of the sun in as possible, so as not to wake them. Turns out that's a bit unnecessary. It's still low in the sky, and I can still see the larger of the two moons still above the forest's tree-covered horizon.

I sit on the dewy grass outside the tent, the faint **Roar** of the planet creeping up on me as the sun rises higher. I wonder if I should do anything for Viola today. It's one year ago we met, after all. It's a bit of a special day. The anniversary of the day I met Viola, the day I left the ignorance and lies of Prentisstown, but also the day that I was forced away from all I knew, the day that Cillian…

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump a little and turn around. It's Viola. "Well, you scared me." "Good morning to you too," She laughs. "I heard you out here." "Really, from the tent?" "Yup. When I was waiting for you to wake up, I would always listen for your noise, and I guess I developed a kind of sensitivity for it." She stares at me for a while. "And no, I don't really expect you to do anything. I kinda told you that on short notice. Sorry." Then she brushes her hair back and sits down beside me. She leans her head on my shoulder and I lean back on her. We just sit there and watch the sun rise over the pines together as the city wakes up.

I don't know how long we're there, but eventually I just get up and walk off down to the house and wait for Ben, hands in my jeans pockets. Viola follows. The scaffolding's gone now and the outside is painted. I go inside and I look around. It's a reasonable sized house. There's a big entranceway that branches of into a kitchen and a sitting room, then a bedroom, "For Ben," Viola tells me, bathrooms, and a few smaller ones that's functions aren't as obvious. And then a stairway. A two-story house. I whistle in surprise.

I go up the stairs and into what must be… "Our room," Viola finishes for me. She giggles and looks around the Massive attic-style space. "I've never lived in a house before," she says softly. I chuckle a little. "Not as exiting as you might expect," I say. The floor up here is already covered in hardwood and there's two beds, screens and wardrobes. The rest of the house's floors are still crude concrete. This looks like the only room that's been finished.

I hear noise outside and we go out to meet Ben and Wilf. "'Morning," Viola and I say at the same time. We exchange a look. "Hiya there," says Wilf. "'Morning, kids," says Ben. "Where's everybody else?" Viola enquires. "We wanted to work on it today and finish it off, just us two," Ben says. "Although we could use some help." Obviously, He's talking about Viola and I. "sure," I reply, "if Viola wouldn't mind, it's not like we have anything better to do." "Sure, it'll be fun, I guess," Viola chirps, giddily. I guess she hasn't worked with tools ever either. We all get to work on installing the windows and the flooring.

As supposed to doing much work myself, I end up teaching Viola how to use a hammer, some basic tools. We're already up to our second fist-aid kit's worth of Band-Aids, which I find extremely hilarious. Maybe even cute a little.

Shut up.

I laugh a little every time Viola hits her thumb with a hammer or slips with the saw, no matter how guilty I feel.

I hear a high-pitched yelp from behind. I turn around again, smiling probably more than I should be. This time, She's gotten a burn form the automatic sander. Again, I chuckle. Viola playfully shouts "Hey! Come back here," as we run into the house where Ben is working on the sitting room. "Get back to work," he snaps with a smile. **Kids**, his noise laughs a bit.

We go outside and I get some gel for Viola's heat rash.

Everybody finishes it up, and we all meet just outside, and admire our work. It's done. "Yup, we'll be able to move in tomorrow," Ben says, the sun setting in the sky. "We'll, I'll best be off. Jane'll be wondering where I am." Wilf excuses himself, and walks off towards the hill. I find myself surprisingly overcome with emoshu– emo_tion_. I go over to hug Ben. **A house** I think, **Our new house. Me and Viola and Ben**.

[Viola]

I wake up in the morning to the whinny of a horse outside. I prop myself up on my right hand, but my it still feels a bit raw from the heat rash I got yesterday, so I collapse back onto my elbow. I look around. The tent's been mostly cleared of belongings. I can hear Todd and Ben outside. I hear them loading the carts and then I hear: **I'll go check on Vi** as Todd comes into the tent, noise exited. "Oh, well, you're awake." "'Morning, Todd." "Hey." He pauses. "We're loading up the carts, get dressed and come help." "Oh, right, I forgot. Today's the day, eh." I blush a little, and I don't know why. Embarrassment at forgetting? "Ya, today's the day." "All right, I'll be right out." I get changed behind the divider in the back of the tent and step outside.

The horses are new, but I can see Ben borrowed Wilf's cart. It's being loaded up with what looks like at least a million years worth of food rations, and some furniture probably from the Spackle craftsmen down in the valley, the seats of the chairs lined in lichen.

"Why're we stocking up so much? Are we trying to survive the apocalypse?" I ask in a sarcastic tone. "Well, we want to make the trip back up the hill as rare as possible, don't we," Ben says. "I guess." I look over to Todd, his strong arms lifting a large trunk into the back of the cart. "Here, let me help you with that." I go over and grab the other end and we slowly raise the trunk up and immediately drop it as we move it over the wooden rail of the cart. Todd wipes his forehead with his forearm. "Wow. That was heavy," Todd gasps. "Ya, what was in there?" "Just some of Ben's things, I guess." "When are we leaving?" "Soon, we just gotta load the rest of this stuff up," Todd says in a way that's like 'Just let it be over already.' He gestures toward a pile of assorted bags and small boxes. His noise is tired, and I can tell he's physically tired too. "Alright, Let's get working then," I say with enthusiasm. Todd just sighs.

It takes us a while to finish up, and eventually Todd sits down and takes a break while I take a big sack in my arms and drop it onto the cart. "That's the last of it," I say, exhausted. Ben left earlier, not sure why. I sit down next to Todd, both of us red-faced and drowning in our own sweat. His body is tired but his noise is so full of excitement, things like **Finally, a real home. Vi and Ben and Me. **And **Exited** and **When are we leaving, when is Ben coming back?** He's anxious to leave. I see images in his head, pictures about us, being like a family, a proper family and living together, us two settling down, getting married. But he Stops there quickly and apologizes. "Oh, god, Viola, I'm sorry. Dammit." Whenever he thinks things like that, though, I have to say, it's usually a mutual thought. He just can't hear. "You know, I wouldn't mind that someday," I say. He's morbidly embarrassed now, staring at the ground and even his ears are starting to go pink. "Hey, Todd," I say, trying to meet his eye, he just looks away. "Todd, it's perfectly okay to think these kinds of things." That seems to calm him down a bit. But only a bit. But then Ben comes back and Todd looks up, trying as hard as he can to hide the embarrassment.

"It's time to go," Ben says, Wilf and Jane and _Lee_ trailing behind them. And I realize, it's the first time I've seen him in a few days. "What are Wilf and Lee doing here? Not really that I mind," Todd asks in the most sincere way. His noise has the same tone. "We're helping you guys move," Lee says. "Besides, We gotta get our stuff down there too, our house should be finished soon. It's just over the hedge in your yard."

I'm surprised about that. I knew that Wilf and Lee and Jane were going to be living together, but the fact their house is going to be next to ours is surprising. "That'll be nice, you guys being just next-door," I say as I think it.

So we all get on the cart, Todd, Lee and I in the back, to help make sure that nothing falls over, and begin the short ride down the hill. For the ten minutes it takes us, we all just sit at the edge of the cart and Todd and I look back. Lee just points his head in any witch-way, like he does, and looks through Todd's eyes with us. The scenery isn't anything new, so I stare at the steeple in the lake. We get to the house, unload the cart, and send Lee Wilf and Jane on their way back to camp. Then we get to moving everything inside. By the time we're done, it's mid-day.

[Todd]

It's about noon by the time we're done. Ben, Viola and I stand side-by-side downstairs in the kitchen, hands on our hips, Ben's and my noise full of pride. Viola's face too. "Well, welcome home," Ben says in his ever-hopeful voice. I grab a pack of saltines from the newly organized cabinets, offering one for Viola, but she says "No thanks."

We go upstairs into our room, _our _room, and we sit down on our beds across from each other. I open up my crackers and start eating them quickly, my empty stomach slowly filling up. "Wow," Viola says. "Ya," I reply, mouth half-full. "I haven't lived in a house, normally, in what seems forever." And then the flashbacks come. I remember being trapped in the old cathedral all night, every night, for the better part of 6 and a half months, the Mayor's own 'house.' Then I remember my house in Prentisstown. Which makes me think of Cillian, which makes me cry a bit.

Shut up

Goddamit!

Is there nothing related to my past I can talk about without bursting into tears and turning my noise into a blue, sad, disorganized _mess_?

Before I realize, Vi's sitting on the bed next to me, holding onto my shoulder, crying too. Great, now I've reminded her of _her_ parents, too. Well, ruddy hell.

I decide this emotional breakdown ain't doing any good for either of us, so I just cut off my noise as best I can. The sobbing from both of us resides. I look up at Viola's red face. "Vi?" "Hey." "Well, way to ruin our first night of living somewhat normally again, me," I scream at myself, seemingly. "Hey, Todd, calm down. A good cry every once in a while is fine." "I know, but, I don't know, it's just that I can't seem to think about anything from my past without being reduced to a mess." I look away from her. "Hey, Todd," she says, trying to grab my attention. "I cry about my parents, too. We should jut agree to not mention anything about it." "Ya. Sure. Whatever." My head hurts now. Viola wipes the tears from her cheeks. I offer her the rest of my saltines, as a way to break the awkwardness. "No," she laughs. "I'm fine."

With nothing else to do, Viola goes back over to her own bed and we sleep until Ben comes and wakes us up for dinner. We finish, say our goodnights to Ben, and go upstairs and tuck in for the night.


	4. Chapter 4

28 days later

[Todd]

I sit up in my bed and wake up again from the nightmare. It's hot and I'm sweating hard so I take off my soaked shirt, which leaves me in my boxers. I look over to the bed across from me. I sigh in relief. _Good_. Vi's still asleep. I've been keeping the dream a secret from Ben and her for a couple weeks now. Ben always keeps to himself downstairs, and I usually fall asleep after Vi, so it's not particularly hard. I lie down and feel the dampness of the mattress on my shoulder blades and arch my back.** Gross**, I think, but my shirt is worse, so I ease up and I think, the only thing that seems to calm me down after having the nightmare.

Sometimes I can go back to sleep again, but sometimes I lay awake until the morning. And sometimes the nightmare comes back.

Anyway, I shake the thought. I think about how life is going. Bradley, the new President, (did I mention earlier?) announced me waking up the day we moved, about five days after I actually did, the same time he announced the tragedy of the exploration party. I think about how now I have people wanting to meet me all the time, and whenever I go into town, people and their noise sort of freezes and locks on to me, the undeserved titles **War hero** and occasionally even **Savior** floating around everybody's heads. Which is all annoying. Then I think about Vi, how She's adjusting to normal life, and how much I'm getting used to it again after a long time. Things that a year ago were basic needs and as recently as six or seven months ago seemed like luxuries are starting to feel normal to me again. I think about how Haven is being rebuilt, slowly but surely. I think about how I'm making friends with Lee, who visits pretty much every morning, how we have more in common than we expected. I think about my birthday tomorrow. I think about how beautiful Vi's gotten, how much she's grown, how I've taken to calling her Vi most of the time, not Viola; and how she kind of likes it.

And then I think about the nightmare again. And before I can stop and catch myself, I can't, because it's too late. Like it's been teetering on the edge of my mind all along and I've been keeping it out and I finally let it go. Like now it's fallen off a cliff into my head and can't be stopped, just falling, waiting for the half second before impact. It engulfs every inch of my noise, every memory, every happy thought. And it copies itself, like a virus. And before I know it, I'm dreaming it even though I'm not asleep, paralyzed in my bed.

It's different every time even though it's always the same. It feeds on every positive thing about me, and then destroys it all. It chants **COWARD** and **BOY** and** WORTHLESS** over and over like Aaron used to but worse, if that's even possible. I'm breathing heavy and sweating as much as my skin will dare. After it gets rid of every last bit of self worth I've ever had, it starts attacking those around me. It shows me on the run a year ago, Hearing explosions and gunshots coming from my old house. It shows me memories of Cillian and of Ben. Cillian, dying, exactly how I imagined it, then images that Davy used to show me, the ones about him killing Ben, then an extra memories that haven't really happened, ones of Ben dying in various ways, all of them painful, all of them slow, and I'm forced to watch. Then it goes after Viola.

It's the one almost-happy part of the dream. It's the one part of the dream where I think it's the end, where it instills false hope, like the hope Vi and I felt being shattered when we first got to Haven, and she was shot. **AND YOU ALWAYS FALL FOR IT TOO, LIKE THE LITTLE ****_BOY_**** YOU ARE**, says the dream. It puts me and Vi in a sunny field, sharing a meal, and then suddenly a black cloud wraps around her and lifts her upward. I run after her, she's screaming and kicking and squirming as hard as she can. I try to always to keep my eyes on her, but doing that forces me to look up at the sun, and it blinds me a bit. I look away to recover, just for a second, but when I look back up, she's gone, blue sky and sun replaced by a dark cloud and behind it two sinister red eyes. The cloud forms a hand, tracing something blurry that I can't quite read in big fiery letters on the ground in front of me. And then it's gone.

My mattress is about as wet and sticky as my shirt now, so I opt to take my blanket and put it down on the floor. I creep downstairs to get a small fan. I hear Ben's sleeping noise, dreamless at the moment, as I go by. I get the fan and head back to my room, plugging it into the socket next to my blanket and put it on a low setting, so it doesn't make too much noise. I lie down on my side on top of the blanket, and wrap some of it from the edge around my back and my shoulder. Finally, I get some sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Slowly, I slip into consciousness and wipe the goop from the corners of my eyelids. I look around. Vi's gone. I hear Ben's noise downstairs. I go to my wardrobe and get a plain white t-shirt and a pair of cargo shorts. Lazily, I slide them on, and make my way downstairs. I stop at the bathroom for a second, to brush my teeth and put on some de-o, and also to shave, which I seem to have to do more and more frequently now.

I shuffle out of the bathroom and make my way to the kitchen. I find Vi and Ben sitting at the little island in the middle, where we always meet in the morning. There's confetti spread all over the table, and there's a cake in the middle. "'Morning, guys," I say. "Happy Birthday, Todd!" they chime in stereo. I look down at the island and realize how much I kinda miss celebrating my birthday, like back in Prentisstown.

"Wow, guys, you didn't–" "Come on, Todd, it's your birthday," Vi says with a smile, "It's the one time of the year you get to eat cake for _breakfast._" I laugh at that a bit. So we sit down and all get a slice of cake. "Too bad we didn't have candles," Ben says. "umph," Vi grunts in agreement, her mouth full. "Why?" I say. "Old World tradition," Ben says. "You try to blow out the candles and make a wish." "Well, that doesn't matter," I say. "You can't have everything you want."

We all finish 'breakfast', and then it's time for presents, though I didn't really ask for anything. Ben gets me a card and a little colored cube-thing. Then Vi gets me a book. I stare at her for a minute. A book? I know I can read, but the only thing I've ever read is my ma's book. "Are you sure?" I ask hesitantly. "Ya. It was my favorite book back on the ships, and I brought it with me in the scout ship when we crashed. I've carried it around in my bag for a year now, and I think it's time it found a new home." "Wow, Vi I don't know what to say–" "Just read it for me, will you? It'll be your first proper novel." "Okay," I say, seeing how much it means to her. I'm exited; it'll be cool to read my first proper book.

Ben takes the cake, wraps it up and puts it in the fridge. I go and put everything in the room, but I pick up the book and go outside. I spend 20 or so minutes of my time reading, and it's not bad. I finish up the first few pages and I go inside to put it away.

When I get to my room, Vi's waiting for me on her bed. I still haven't re-made mine from last night. "Hey. Are you okay? Last night. When I woke up in the morning to go downstairs, you were sleeping there on the floor. What's gong on?" "Nothing. I just had a nightmare," I say, trying to keep it from playing through in my noise, "I woke up sweating, and the mattress was damp. That's all." "What was it about?" "I really feel like talking about it," I say calmly. "Okay. Sorry. Just checking." "Well, anyway. Thanks for the book. I like it so far." I try to continue the conversation as I put the blanket back and make my bed. "Good to hear you like it." I pick last night's grey shirt up of the floor. It's still a bit damp. "Be right back," I say to Vi as I leave.

I go down and put my t-shirt in the laundry room. I go back up, and I sit down with the cube that Ben gave me. "That's a Rubik's cube." I look up. Vi's looking at my hands, which are messing with the little rows of smaller blocks, trying to figure out what they are. She must see the confusion in my noise. "So what's it do?" I ask. She comes over. "Let me show you." She sits down next to me and puts her hands over mine.

Vi takes my left hand and guides it so that it's covering two of the three little rows of blocks, while she gets my right to turn the remaining row a quarter turn. "You basically do that a bunch of times," she explains, "and then you try to get all the sides of the cube so that they're all the same color." "Oh, so it's a puzzle." "Ya. I'm pretty good at it myself. Do you want me to try one?" "Sure. Here, take it."

I let go of the cube and watch as she randomly spins the blocks in every-which way, looking at me instead of it to make sure she doesn't memorize any of her actions. She finishes, and then I watch her pretty little hands quickly and nimbly reversing all her moves, pausing for a brief second to think every once in a while. She's done really quick, in a few minutes, and I stare in awe.

"Wow. You _are _good," I say. My noise is full of amazement. "Years of living in space with plenty of time on my hands," Vi laughs, "We used to have competitions to see who could do them the fastest." I still can barley believe how quickly she solved that. If it were me, I'd be fumbling around for hours.

She hands the cube back to me. I can't figure outa anything to say. "Heh, I'll need some luck to ever do one that fast." I know. Crappy.

"Hey, Todd, I've been thinking, recently, and–" The doorbell rings. It's probably Lee. Vi's disappointed. I can tell she was about something important. She sighs as we go downstairs. "Nevermind. I'll tell you later."


	6. Chapter 6

I hear someone's noise from downstairs. Yup. It's Lee alright. We get to the front door and open it. "Hi, Todd, Happy Birthday. Hey Vi." "Hi Lee. What're you doin' today?" I ask. "I don't have anything planned, maybe I'll go for a swim in the lake, but I need someone to come with me." "Ya, sure. Why not? Viola?" "OK, sure." she says. "When're you thinking Lee?" "I don't know. Meet me by the end of the hedge, on the footpath, in, and hour, maybe?" "Sure. We can do that." "Oh, and Todd, I wrote you this." He hands me a card. Writing's the one thing that's still hard for Lee, since he has to try to synch his hands with someone else's view. So this is a big deal for him. "Wow, Lee. Thanks." "Don't mention it. See you in an hour." He leaves. He doesn't need me to see for him: he's memorized the path from both our houses by now. I watch him go, though, just to make sure, like I always do.

When I turn around, Viola's gone. I go upstairs and she's sitting on her bed like she does, waiting. For me. "Anyway, I was going to say that I've been thinking," she says, patting the space next to her as I sit down by it. She starts again, for clarity or whatever. "I've been thinking about when you told me you wanted to go back to Prentisstown," she says. The memories of that night come rushing back. I think about the things I thought, and my face warms up a little and turns red. "Vi, I was still a bit shaken about not saving Simone and saving the Mayor instead and you not–" "So was I. But I think that maybe going away might be a good idea." "But Vi, we've just started here–" I didn't say _now,_ just later. We can't live with Ben forever." "Ya, I know, but I think we should, you know, settle down." "Todd." And she just stares at me, with her beautiful eyes.

And then she does it again.

And I feel like such and idiot.

I didn't see it coming.

She kisses me.

And just like the first time, all I can think is **I love you, Viola.**

[Viola]

I did it again. And it felt so,

what's the right word?

Even if it was weird and out of place. I step out behind the screen in out room after I finish putting on a large t-shirt over my swimsuit. "Your turn," I say to Todd as I emerge. His face is still red. His noise is still swirling the way it did the first time. I can tell that he loves me. I know he does. He thought it just like he was speaking to me. I don't know why he feels so embarrassed about it though.

I watch him go behind the screen. I can hear him from behind it still. His noise has been going **Viola? Viola?** for the last hour.I can tell he's not asking a question to me, just sort of throwing it into his head, trying to decide if it's really. He's using my full name again. I didn't realize how much I missed it, though. I guess it's the thing that flows the best in his thoughts. And I don't mind. I'll give him whatever time he needs.

He's finished quick. He steps out just as he puts his left arm through the last of his sleeves.

We leave the house and Todd shouts to Ben inside that we're going for a swim. When we left we were 5 minutes early, and the walk down to the lake is just under a minute. We arrive, and Lee's already there, leaning against a small tree. "Hey, let's go." "Hi Lee," Todd says. "Hey," I say too.

Lee stands up straight and we walk off. He sees through Todd's eyes, but he still moves his head around, like he's looking for something. We reach the small dock that Wilf built on his side of the hedge. Todd and Lee both take of their shirts and instantly do running cannonballs into the water. I'm not so quick to get in though. By the time I take off the too-big t-shirt and drop it by the boys', they've already emerged form their dive and are splashing around with each other.

I'm not as comfortable in the water. I've only learned to swim after we moved here. I see Todd look at me. Seeing through him, Lee gestures and calls for me to come in. so I do. I take a dive off the edge of the dock and into the water, but I've still to master the whole "hands first" thing, so I end up pulling a belly-flop instead and curl up in pain as soon as I hit the water.

Todd and Lee, laughing, swim up to me and help me out. "You really gotta get better at that, Vi," Todd chuckles, the awkwardness from earlier gone by now. We all start messing around in the water. We've become good friends this past month, and it's good to see that Lee's gotten over, well… his crush.

"Hey, you know," Todd says, looking at the cathedral, "We're a bit underprepared, but tomorrow maybe we could take Ben's inflatable boat over there." "That's a good idea," says Lee. "Ya, that would be cool. We could bring some food and sort of have a picnic," I say, pointing to a small section of the steeple. "There's a section there that's tilted almost flat." "Ya, make an afternoon out of it–anyway. I don't know about you guys, but I'm a bit thirsty. Should I go back and get some water?" "No, Todd," I say, "I'll go, Lee needs someone to stay here and see for him." "Alright. See you soon." He and Lee stay there treading water and start up a splash fight again.

I swim weakly to the bank of the lake and run back up to the house. I come back with three tin canteens. I walk down to the end of the dock and put two of them down by the edge, Todd and Lee a bit further out than they started out. Before I even get to take a sip, Todd and Lee are already racing each other towards me. They both arrive at about the same time Lee ahead by just a few feet. He shouts "Ha! I won." to Todd. They both put one arm on the dock and grab for their canteen with the other. Todd takes a big gulp and says "Ya, ya, _this_ time," his silly crooked smile creeping across the right side of his face. We put down our canteens and I back up a few steps. I take a running start and attempt a dive into the water. And I belly flop again. Oh well. They both laugh at me and I start laughing too, realizing how ridiculous I must seem. We spend the rest of the day messing around by the dock, discussing details for tomorrow.


	7. Chapter 7

[Todd]

I'm in the field again and the nightmare's taking Viola. But this time, I don't look up at her, no matter how hard it is, 'cause I know the sun'll get me. I just keep running, the rage building up, until I finally get to the wall of cloud, but I look up and she's already gone and I look back down in defeat and I walk forward some more, 'cuz there ain't much more to do, the smoke swirling around me, filling my lungs with soot.

I see the flaming letters on the ground again, but my walking through the wall of cloud has swirled some of it away and so I can read them. And I stop there on the spot, 'cuz I read them and they say **NOW**. They say **TODAY**.

And I wake up in a cold sweat as usual, my shirt clingy like always. I try to make sense of what happened, the one thing that was different this time. And I do something dangerous. One of the most dangerous things I could do. I lie to myself. I tell myself that it was just a dream and that it wasn't real, even though I certainly_ felt _real, especially last night when I dreamt it even though I wasn't dreaming. I look out the one window down towards the end of the room above the stairs. It's almost dawn. I look at the sunrise, truly actually, look at it, for the first time in a long time. I see the layers of purple and pink turn to orange and yellow turn to blue, and just after the sun peaks the crest of the hill, casting the shadows of some of the few tents still left up there, I fall back asleep.

I wake up and Vi's leaning over me. "Heavy sleeper much?" she asks sarcastically. "It's almost noon." I laugh for just a split second-  
Crap.

"Aww, damn," I say, " We're supposed to meet Lee now." "It's okay, I told him you were still asleep and we'd come over when you're ready," Vi re-assures. "I packed lunch already anyway." "Oh, all right," I apologize quickly, "Sorry for the panic." I sit up and get out of bed. "Better start getting ready." Vi leaves, and as soon as I hear the door close, I grab a pair of swim trunks.  
I can't believe I slept in.

I suppress a few thoughts of my nightmare as I slide on my swimsuit and bring my arms out of the sleeves of my shirt in a hurried rush. I keep the right hand through the shirt sleeve as I pick up my boxers, slide the shirt around them, and curl it up into one big ball for the laundry pile in a single motion. I make my way down the steep attic stairs and open the door at the bottom. I stop at the bathroom, but I skip my normal routine and I throw my ball at the hamper basket.  
_Score._

I head for the kitchen and I say good morning to Ben who realizes I'm in a hurry and hands me a granola bar. I practically inhale it and hustle outside.


	8. Chapter 8

Lee and Vi are waiting for me by the dock already, talking. They get up when they hear me coming. "Morning," Lee says. "Hi," I respond. "The boat's all ready and we've got the picnic basket," Vi chirps. "All-right, let's go!" I say.

We hop onto the little inflatable raft that Ben let us borrow, and we ride across the vast lake that _was_ Haven towards the old steeple, and we talk for all of the five minutes that it takes. When we get there, Vi gets off the boat and into the small niche in the bell tower, and onto a flat bit of stone wall that probably was washed up here on what seems to be a big pile of debris in the flood.

I get off next, and then help Lee up, seeing for him, as I always do. Vi ties up the raft while Lee and I set up the food. We all sit down and eat our sandwiches, which are pretty good, courtesy of Ben, and then we decide to go for a swim.

Vi finds a splintered wooden beam-looking thing sticking out of the water. She recons that she can get there and back faster than Lee or I. We both know she's bluffing, she's not a very good swimmer, but Lee and I take her up on the challenge. I count down from three, and on my mark, we all dive into the water and race to Viola's beam and back. I come first by a few seconds, followed by Vi, surprisingly, and then Lee, who seems a little disoriented, which I'm surprised by. Despite his blindness, He's usually pretty good at finding his way around, especially if he's just swimming in a straight line. His noise is just as confused as his body. I know he can see through me, but he seems a little thrown off by something.

"Aw, crap," he realizes. "My blindfold's fallen off." I didn't even realize. I take a look a the scar tissue covering his eye sockets. _Jeez_. I never knew it was that bad, but I recover quickly and laugh a little. "Wow," I say in-between bursts of laughter, leaning over grabbing at my stomach. "loosing you blindfold really slowed you down _that_ much?" "Shut up," Lee says, laughing a little himself. "I'll go get it," Vi says, "It's just over there," she says, pointing at a small piece of cloth floating in the water.

She dives in, retrieves Lee's blindfold, still stained with some blood around the edges, and comes back.

She's getting better at swimming.

I get an idea. "Hey, guys, why don't we go down and explore the cathedral from inside?" "That sounds cool," Vi says immediately. Lee's not so sure. "I don't know, it sounds a bit risky," Lee says, tying his blindfold back again. "Plus, how would you see for me? I'll stay up here. You guys can go." "oaky, I say, grabbing two pairs of goggles from the basket of stuff we brought and hand one to Vi, "suit yourself."


	9. Chapter 9

[Todd]

Vi and I jump into the water, and we swim on the surface over to the place where the front of the steeple would've been before the explosion all those months ago, if my sense of direction is any good…

I stick my head underwater to check…

Yeah, I was right.

I signal over to Viola and we take a deep breath and dive underwater. I can see really clearly in the murky water, and that kind of surprises me. The goggles are the new ones the settlers brought with them, the ones designed for underwater exploration that never happened because of the ocean fish. I eventually swim down a meter or so, and find a small opening to the top of the bell tower. The room where I used to sleep and eat and for all intents and purposes, live with Mayor Ledger.

I poke my head inside the hole to scout out the room. My ears are starting to pop, and my lungs are starting to strain, so I make it quick. I find the wood floor mostly destroyed by the explosion, what _was _left of it starting to host yellow-green algae. I pull out and look over to Vi, who's just floating there behind me, waiting. I have to surface, and I before I even signal with my hands, Vi pulls herself up to the surface.

She's been getting better at reading me.

Not that that would've been particularly hard to hear.

I reach up with both my arms and force the water down, and I glide up to the surface.

As soon as my ears break the surface, it seems, Vi looks at me and says: "That was weird." "What?" I breathe in, heavily. "Your noise underwater. It's kind of strange."

[Viola]

As Todd surfaces, I can still hear it. I don't even give him a change to breathe. "That was weird." Now he breathes in. His noise is back to normal and he's curious as to what I mean. "What?" "Your noise under water," I say, "it's kind of strange. The pictures are all distorted, and the words sound compacted, you know what I mean? They all kind of blur together and they sound quieter." Todd nods slowly, a bit skeptical. "Anyway," he says, "we can get into the bell tower, and there's a small air bubble at the top of the old room." I nod. "You ready?" He asks. "Yeah," I say, "Let's go."

To be honest, I'm a bit nervous about going in there. Not because it creeps me out, really, It's just I don't know if my swimming skills are up to scratch. I don't want to drown or anything.

We go down a second time, and I listen to Todd's noise again. I find it kind of cool, actually. It's curious now, because he's carefully testing the little hole in the wall to make sure we won't get stuck. He quickly decides that it's safe, and he goes in first. I follow a few seconds later, the side of the hole just barely scratching . When I get in there, I see him already head in the air pocket, and I go up to meet him.

It's a small hole, and we can barley fit our heads in, even when we tilt them back. The air tastes stale but also rusty. "It's a small pocket," Todd mentions, "We probably only have a few minutes of air." "Ya. We should go down again." And with that, we both take a deep breath and dive back down.

Todd goes down through the destroyed floor, and signals me to follow him deeper into the bell tower, and despite my lack of confidence in my swimming, I do. My ears start to pop, so I squeeze my nose and blow. Todd knows his way around the place, and he's quick to swim down the somewhat short spiral staircase and into the old chapel. I see him swim up to a long air bubble running across the roof of the chapel. I swim up to meet him.

"There's a lot more air in here," says Todd; "Maybe an hour's worth." "Yeah," I say, "We should stay up here for a while." "Ya." We start a splash fight and that goes on for about five minutes. The tiny LEDs at the sides of our goggles barley illuminate each other.

We go back down, and I'm disoriented for a second. I'm turned away from the spiral staircase, towards the main entrance, one of the doors blasted off, and the other slowly rotting away. By the time I realize this and turn back, though, Todd's already gone. I guess he must have gone deeper, into the basement, so I head down the spiral staircase, kicking slowly.

I get down there and I don't see him. But here's a pile of barrels of medicine or something: I can see pills on the floor. I can't hear him either, but noise doesn't travel far underwater, so I swim around the barrels. And now he's really not there. Now I'm panicking a little, because I'm running out of air and there's not an air bubble in here. I immediately turn around hurriedly and I bump into the barrels and I need air soon but there isn't any and I can't find Todd.

I can't find Todd_._

I hurriedly swim up the long staircase up into the high-ceilinged cathedral, but my lungs can't take it, I'm going to pass out before I make it, I'm going to _drown_.

I kick frantically toward the air pocket. I don't think I'll make it. But then I do. I take a deep breath, but my fatigue gets the better of me, and I fall back down and the world goes dark, and I think I hear someone call my name.


	10. Chapter 10

[Todd]

I go up the spiral staircase and I stick my head up into the air bubble for a second and I realize. Viola's not here. I take another deep breath and swim down the spiral staircase. I look into the cathedral. And I see Viola. In the air pocket.

Oh, thank god.

But then she starts sinking.

What?

How?

**Viola?**

**VIOLA!**

She's not moving. She's just sinking. She's lying on her back, which is arched, limbs dangling. I swim up to her fast. I put my hand on her back and try to push her up. The water makes things lighter, so it's not hard to do one handed. I bring her up to the surface of the bubble, and I try to wake her up. I shake her, I yell at her, I even hit her across the face. She's not responding. I can't do anything about it. She won't wake up. My thoughts go messy. I have to get her to the surface.

I take a deep breath and I drag her down with me. Time slows down. I go up the spiral staircase and I put my head into the smaller air pocket. I go back down and I hold her up there for a second, cause if there's a chance she'll gat some air, I might as well. I pull her down, and I push her through the hole and I am quick to follow. I had to let go of her to get her out of the bell tower, so I grab back onto her, as If I was carrying a plank of wood or a ladder, and shoot strait for the surface a meter away, but it feels like a kilometer. And I know it's a strange thing to notice at a time like this, but the sun is blinding through the water.

I get to the surface and I put her in front of me and I push her back to the ledge where we were having lunch, and as I turn the corner of the top of the steeple, I see Lee already on my feet. "What happened? Todd? Viola?" I start balling up, and I don't know what to say, but I try to make my thoughts clearer so Lee can at least _see._ "I–I don't know." Is all I can manage with my mouth. "Oh my god. How did–" I put Viola on the ledge, and I remember something that Cillian taught me once.

I kneel down and put my lips to hers, hold her nose, and I try to force air into her lungs, make sure she's getting oxygen. I back up for a second, 'cause I feel her move, but as soon as I do she just starts violently coughing up water, sending spray everywhere. And for a second I think she wakes up. But it's just unconscious coughing.. And I hear the genuine terror in Lee's noise, and of course he's seeing everything through me so it's all blurry and confusing and it's his horror on top of my panic so it's only making it worse for him and Viola stops coughing so I go back down and try again to get some air into her lungs but I don't know if it's working so I just give up and I think **We've got to get back to land**, so I put her on our pathetic little rubber boat, and Lee follows.

I frantically paddle with the oars, and Lee, in an obvious panic, flails his hands at the water in the back. I just can't think of anything to say or do or anything, so I just oar. That's my job. That's my part in saving her.

We get to land Lee, almost like he's prepared, gets out first and stabilizes the boat as I get out and lift Viola up and carry her our into our yard as fast as I can holding a person, and me and Lee screaming for Ben all the way. Just as I get to the point where I'm about to put her down, Ben comes through the front of the house, his noise confused. But he sees Viola on the floor and hears Lee's noise and mine, and he just gets to his knees. "Oh no… How'd this happen?" and I show him and he looks at me the whole time with a terrible look on his face and he just crawls over to her and does that CPR thing and she's still not waking up and I don't know if she will but is she dead? Is she still alive? She doesn't have noise so I can't tell by that and she isn't breathing but that doesn't mean she's dead. Does it?

Then she just starts spitting up water again and I don't know what to do and Ben must hear my confusion and he looks and me, not bending over anymore and just letting Viola cough. "Go get help!" I realize my goggles are still on, for some reason, and I take them off and I run up the hill to the medical tents. All the plants on the path whizz by, and every thing is streaky and fast. I trip on a rock, and my nose starts. But I can't let that stop me. I get up and I start running again, and I get to the medical tents.

I run into the closest one, and I scream for help. I don't know anything else to do. I just scream "She's drowning! She's drowning!" over and over and I feel like and Idiot, but the healers and the doctors both Human and Spackle must hear the franticness in my noise or my voice of both 'cause they look at me and I run back to the house and the follow me. I get back and Ben's doing the CPR thing again and Lee is stiff and Ben is trying to hide the panic in his noise and I try to look at her but I can't because it hurts too much.

The healers and doctors come a second after me, and come and ask me what happened and I tell them in a rushed but also reluctant way and then they ask me how long ago and I tell them, and one of Spackle doctors runs back up the hill and one of the healers goes to Viola's side and stops Ben and then gets right to doing the same thing he was, and a male doctor asks me more questions about what happened and I just show him my noise and the Spackle doctors comes back down with a stretcher and some contraption hooked up to a tank. Two other healers lift Viola, unconsciously coughing now, onto the stretcher and the doctor who was talking to me puts one end of the contraption, which is a mask, onto her face and opens the valve on the tank, and they all take the stretcher back up the hill.

One healer stays behind and she talks to us about what they have to do to her, and when we can see her, and I'm not listening 'cause I want to follow the stretcher going up the hill but I'm frozen, just frozen so I can't. But I can't, especially after the healer starts talking about "chance of survival." 'Cause I remember the when she was shot, when she almost died, and I ask myself about her chances of not dying a second time, and it doesn't look good, and I don't know if I would be able to take it.


	11. Final Chapter

[Todd]

The healers told us that we would be able to see Viola in a few hours. It hasn't quite been 5. I want to go up and see her, but Ben says that I shouldn't bother, that the healers would notify us if anything significant happens, but he doesn't get it.

I have to be there for her.

Like she was for me.

**I ain't never leaving you, not even in my head.**

I grin at "ain't" as I always do for a second, but then I wipe it off my face.

Ben and I are sitting across the living room, not speaking a word. We've been like this since Lee went back, his noise still blurry. We still don't know If Wilf and Jane know yet. I doubt they've been able to pull anything out of him. I think he hasn't spoken since I puled Viola out of the water. Solid as a rock.

I finally decide I've had enough. I can't just sit here while Viola's up there maybe dead or maybe not. I just need to know. I need to be with her. Without warning, I get up and tell Ben I'm going to see her. Before he can even object, I'm halfway to the front door. He calls after me halfheartedly, but he knows that there's not anything in this world that'll stop me, so he stays, reluctantly.

Before long I'm up the path and onto the hilltop. I find the tent marked "Intensive Care and Life Support" in red, where we were told we might find Viola. I go in, pushing the tent flap aside. I walk slowly past a few walled-off rooms in the tent before I find a doctor who doesn't look like he's critically busy. I ask hi if he knows where I might find Viola. He hears her name, and he gives me a look. "A girl, about my age?" In a moment of realization, he nods his head "Oh." "Follow me," he says. He takes me past a few other sections of tent, before he stops at the only open one, and there's Viola inside, hooked up to some big boxy machine. "She's unconscious, but alive," the doctor says. And I melt at the word _alive_, 'cause now I know she might make it, that there's at least hope. "She might take a long time to wake up," the doctor interrupts. "She might never wake up at all." But I ignore that. 'Cause she's my Viola. She'll be back. I know it.

I sit down next to her on a stool for visitors, I guess. The doctor leaves. I don't really know what to do. She doesn't have a book or anything I can read to her… but then I remember my birthday present. I never finished it, I only got it yesterday. But I might as well bring it back up here and try to dictate it to her. But I don't want to leave. So I just talk to her. I just have a casual, one-sided conversation with her. I talk about the things we normally do. How the new settlers have really made things better. About more and more people starting to move into houses or spiting into smaller groups and going of to start settlements nearby. I tell her about how I felt when I realized she was starting to drown. Things like that. I must be there for a long time, because the same doctor that brought me here comes in and asks me to leave. But I tell him that I'm not going anywhere, and I think my face and my noise make him leave me be. I start talking for a long while again, and eventually I realize it's dark outside. The tent is lit up with fluorescent light bulbs. I still don't leave.

And eventually I must fall asleep, 'cause Ben wakes me up and he tells me I've been here long enough, and I should come down. I say no, and he says he figured, so he packed me a rucksack. And then I remember the last time Ben packed me a rucksack. I take it from his hands and I say bye to him. He says he promises to come and visit everyday, and that I should eat something. He hands me a granola bar. And then he leaves.

I look through the rucksack. There's not much. Just a pair of shorts, a t-shirt, and two books. My ma's, and the one Viola got me yesterday. I've never read through either of them all the way. So I read Viola's first. I read it out loud to her for a while. 'Cause there's nothing else to do.

That's how I've been spending the past few days here, in this tent, Ignoring doctors and healers and Spackle telling me to leave and reading Viola's own book to her, only sleeping when I can't stay awake, Ben visiting every once in a while, watching day turn into night into day. And it's miserable and it sucks but _she's _here. And that's what matters. That I can be with her. And I'll wait for however long it takes Viola, 'cause you made me a promise. And you'll be back soon.

~END~

* * *

_**Author's note: this was a first-draft of this story. I'm revising and editing it now, and I'll upload a finished version when it's done. 'till then, turah!**_


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